The Covenant
by aliasnumberfive
Summary: Carlisle is married to Esme. Then he marries his dead son's fiance, Bella. Carlisle is just trying to fulfill his covenant with God. Carlisle/Esme; Carlisle/Bella
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This fic was partially inspired by_ The Cannabean Bethrothal_, but more directly by _Big Love_. It references a made up polygamist religion that is based on fundamentalist Mormanism, but is not intended to accurately reflect that religion. It will have three parts- first Esme, then Carlisle, and last, Bella. It is Esme/Carlisle, and Bella/Carlisle.**

_A covenant is a contract with, or promise to, God._

As I lay in my marital bed, alone for the first time in 21 years, I prayed to God for the strength to not only bear, but welcome the change that had just happened in my life.

It had always been a possibility, even an inevitability, but I'd gotten soft and selfish and, if my current state of emotion was any indication, jealous of my husband's love and attentions. I'd had him to myself for so long, building a life with him and bearing his children. We'd been through so many joys, and the greatest of tragedies together.

He was my husband, my lover, and my spiritual leader. We were strong together, but we always knew we were not strong with God.

Our beautiful son's early death was proof enough of that, and for him, for Edward, I would push away my jealousy and pain and welcome Bella into our family with open arms.

It would be easier, though, if I didn't have to hear her sharp cry of pain as my husband pushed through her virginity with a low, loud groan of his own.

I prayed to God to thicken our walls, for at least this one night.

**_~esme~esme~esme~_**

I arose early the next morning, tired from my fitful night of sleep. As I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw the damning puffiness of my eyes that would let my family know I couldn't hold back the tears last night. I wet a cloth with cold water and pressed it firmly against my eyes as shame flooded through my body.

This was a time of happiness. Our family was finally fulfilling our covenant with God. I had a new Sister Wife, a girl I had watched grow up into a beautiful young woman with a pure heart, a girl who had was our daughter's best friend and who would have been our son's first wife. It was not Bella's fault that I still thought of her as a girl and not a woman. She was only a little younger than Alice, and we had given our daughter away in marriage over a year ago. Alice had just birthed her first child to her husband, and as I tried to get rid of the signs of my tears, I reminded myself that with God's blessings, Bella would give us another baby soon as well.

I took a quick shower, distracting myself with thoughts of laughing children once again filling our home and our hearts. I'd always wanted a large family, not only because it was a tribute to God, but because I felt born to be a mother even more than a wife. If only we'd heeded God's warning when I'd lost pregnancy after pregnancy after our twins' birth, but in spite of our losses we were happy with our small family and our two children hadn't given me much time to mourn over the fact that there wouldn't be more.

Perhaps if Carlisle had brought another wife into our covenant then, Edward would still be alive.

I shook my head, physically trying to rid myself of the poisonous thought. I'd certainly been content enough to have Carlisle's full focus, and if I'd wondered in the beginning when he would take another, that thought faded over the years. Now, things were finally the way they should be and I was going to do my best to not only accept it, but embrace it.

I would embrace Bella and welcome her into our home. I would not allow her to see my tears or my selfish jealousy.

**_~esme~esme~esme~_**

I spent the early morning hours in the garden, working quietly under the rising sun so that I wouldn't disturb the newlyweds. It was work I enjoyed and it did as good a job as anything of distracting me from the thought of my husband waking up in Bella's bed instead of mine. His morning appetite was voracious in more ways than one, and leaving the house early before either one of them had a chance to wake up was the kindest thing for all of us.

I stayed out as long as I could, weeding and deadheading the roses, but when the sun was high overhead and my watch said it was past time to get breakfast started, I put away my gardening tools and headed inside to the kitchen. I started the kettle for tea and opened the refrigerator, contemplating what I should make. I briefly considered just setting out leftover pastries from the wedding gathering, but quickly decided against it. A small smile lit my lips as I remembered how hungry I had been the day after my own wedding, a combination of not having eaten because of nerves and an exhausting if thrilling wedding night.

As I heated up some bacon and sliced freshly baked bread to make French toast, a calmness spread through me. I had gained more than I'd lost and I would make the most of it. Yesterday's wedding had marked a fresh start for all of us.

When the bacon was finished, I placed it on a plate and bent down to slide it into the oven to keep warm. Standing up, I felt a familiar pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind and I relaxed back into Carlisle's chest for just a moment. He was freshly showered and I took a deep breath of his clean, slightly spicy scent. The simple act comforted me, a feeling that multiplied as his lips brushed my ear.

"Good morning, my love. Breakfast smells wonderful as always."

I smiled and turned in his arms to place a soft kiss of greeting on his lips.

"I was just waiting for you so I could finish the French toast. The water is hot if you'd like a cup of tea."

Carlisle smiled back at me, perhaps a little more stiffly than usual, and turned to the counter where I'd carefully placed three cups.

His hand faltered for the briefest of seconds before he picked up a cup, much the way my own hand had done as I pulled down an extra one to set out.

Turning away, I battered the first slices of bread and added them to the skillet. Behind me I heard Carlisle slide back a chair, followed by the sound of his morning paper snapping open. The routine of it all gave me a sense of peace as I finished up his breakfast, and then my own. I turned down the heat on the skillet just a bit, leaving it on in case Bella joined us soon.

When I sat down on his right, Carlisle looked up from his paper and reached out to grab my hand.

"It's delicious. Thank you for always taking such good care of me."

It was a sentiment that he'd spoken countless times over the years, but this time there was an extra note of seriousness that was new. I pulled my hand from under his only to lift it and stroke my fingers gently across his furrowed brow.

"Taking care of you is one of my greatest pleasures in life." And I would do it the best I could for the rest of eternity, on this plane of existence and the next.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, but there was a heaviness that grated at my senses and made it difficult to enjoy my food. I nearly sighed in relief when Carlisle cleared his throat and broke the silence.

"I heard you get up this morning. It was really early. Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked, a flash of anguish marking his face before he swallowed and composed himself.

I didn't want him to worry about me, nor feel any guilt over his relationship with Bella. It was as God wanted and I had no desire to defy His wishes any longer.

This time, I was the one to grab his hand and squeeze.

"I've slept beside you for over 20 years, Carlisle. It will take some time for me to get used to sleeping alone. I promise, I'll adjust and everything will be fine."

He nodded, squeezing my hand in support, but worry still marked his handsome face.

"I. . . I love you Esme. I'll do anything in my power to make this transition easier for both you and Bella."

"I know you will," I answered. It was the truth. I had been trusting Carlisle to take care of me and guide me my entire adult life and he had never let me down.

But my assurances didn't seem to sooth him as they normally did. His jaw clenched and he looked down for a moment before meeting my eyes again.

"I'll call the contractor today and pay him as much as it takes to move up the timeline on completing the third floor renovation."

It was my own turn to look down at my plate as I absorbed both his words and the underlying implications. It finally clicked what had him so tense and worried.

He'd been able to hear me when I got up this morning, and Carlisle was anything but stupid. He must have realized that if he could hear me through the wall that separated our bedrooms, that I had been able to hear them as well.

The memories of Bella's soft cries of pleasure and Carlisle's voice, murmuring words I couldn't understand and moans of satisfaction that I could, were too fresh. I closed my eyes against the sudden threat of tears and nodded, not wanting my husband to see the shamefulness of my emotions.

"Esme. . . ," he began, but whatever he planned to say was interrupted when my new Sister Wife appeared at the threshold of the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll just. . ." Bella began, but I quickly stood, shaking my head. I masked the emotions evoked by my conversation with Carlisle the best I could as I walked toward her.

"You're not interrupting, Bella," I assured her, smiling with as much warmth as I could muster. "This is your home now. If Carlisle and I want to have a private conversation, we'll do that in our. . . my bedroom. And you and he can have privacy in yours. Otherwise, I think it would work best if we just consider ourselves always welcome in any other room of the house. Don't you agree?"

Bella looked unsure, as her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip. Her gaze went to Carlisle, and I turned just enough to see him still seated at the table, with a soft, reassuring look. I could see the way her shoulders relaxed in response, and when she turned back to me, she was smiling shyly.

"Sure, I mean yes, I agree. Thank you, Esme."

I smiled back, then turned back to the stove and began preparing more food.

"Sit down, then, and let me get you some sustenance. I have a feeling that you're a very hungry woman this morning."

I glanced at her just in time to see a blush spread across her cheeks.

Turning back to the toast, I prayed that the awkwardness of our new status would fade soon.

**_~esme~esme~esme~_**

Carlisle took the time to kiss us both, whispering something private in each of our ears before he left to go to the hospital. His message to me was filled with gratitude and love for trying so hard to make Bella's first morning with us comfortable for her. I didn't know what he said to my Sister Wife, but whatever it was heated her cheeks once again and I had to bite back a tinge of jealousy for what felt like the hundredth time in 24 hours.

Bella insisted on washing the dishes from breakfast, and I reluctantly let her, knowing that the sooner we established a routine of sharing housework, the easier it would be for both of us. There was no point in treating her like a guest, though it was difficult to break a habit that we had forged over years and years of her visiting my home as a guest of my children.

We worked quietly together, companionably even. She dropped a spoon on the floor at one point and I noticed her wince as she squatted to pick it up, so I wordlessly got her a couple of Tylenol and set them on the island for her with a glass of water. Bella smiled gratefully, and I was able to smile back without reservation. I took no joy in her tenderness, able to remember even after all of these years what it had felt like the day after I'd lost my virginity. It had been both wondrous and terrifying, and I thought perhaps it would have been nice to have had a Sister Wife to comfort me the next day.

When we were finished cleaning, I hesitated, momentarily unsure of what I should do next. On a normal day I would go to spend some time with Alice and the baby, or head over to the library where I was a volunteer. But Carlisle had asked me to take a couple of days off to help Bella settle, and even if he hadn't asked, I would have done so.

After a deep breath to settle my nerves, I turned to Bella with a smile.

"Would you like to go to the living room and work out our schedules, or if you're still tired, we could hold off on that until later so you can take a nap."

Bella took a moment before answering and I could see her hesitation, and her anxiety. When she spoke up, her voice was soft.

"Whatever you want, Esme."

I felt a spark of irritation that I quickly squashed down. I realized that this situation must be as difficult for her as it was for me, perhaps even more so. I prayed to God for patience and understanding.

I was tempted to tell her we could talk later, as it was bound to be awkward and difficult. For that very reason, I forced myself to get it over with. It was just another thing I needed to get used to.

"Let me get the calendar, and I'll meet you in the living room. If we can get through a schedule, we'll be able to settle into a routine a little easier. I think that will make us all more comfortable."

I gathered what we needed and joined Bella on the couch. We started with the easy things: her class schedule at the local community college and my volunteering schedule, deciding how we would share cooking and cleaning duties given our other responsibilities.

"Of course when you start having children, we'll revisit our responsibilities," I assured, and I smiled in excitement at the thought. It occurred to me for the first time that though the odds were very low, my Sister Wife could already be pregnant.

That thought gave me the courage I needed to address the next issue at hand.

"I'm sure Carlisle has already told you that he'll be spending the rest of the week with you as a "pre-honeymoon" until he can take time off for a real trip. But we should probably discuss how we'd like to share his time after that." I paused for a moment, wanting to do my duty as First Wife and lead this discussion, but feeling like a bit of a fraud as Bella was more than aware that I had no first-hand experience in this area. I had grown up in a family with three mothers, but I'd now lived longer as a single wife than I had spent in my father's house and my memories of how my mothers' had split my father's time weren't fresh. However, there were only so many ways this could be done, so I took a deep breath and prayed to God for the confidence and wisdom to guide us through this. "It seems to me that we have a few options. We could share by day, by week, or somewhere in between. I suppose it's also possible that we could be more unstructured if that was our wish. What do you think?"

Bella flushed pink once again, and I reached over and gave her hand a soft pat, trying to put her at ease. She had always been reserved and I had no doubt that every bit of discomfort I felt about scheduling intimate time with Carlisle was multiplied for her. She gave me a somewhat nervous smile in response and took a deep breath. The fingers of her hand played at the hem of her shirt as she chewed at the inside of her cheek. I thought for a moment that she might refuse to answer, but just as I was preparing to offer a suggestion of trying a weekly schedule, she hesitantly spoke up.

"Maybe we could do an every-other-day schedule? My mother said that unstructured time leads to jealousy, and Sue said that sometimes a week just feels too long to go without sleeping beside one's husband. But, really, it's whatever you want, Esme."

I considered what she'd said, and then nodded in agreement. Bella's mothers had offered her sound advice, and I was grateful for it. I liked to think that I wouldn't be so petty as to count and compare the time that Carlisle spent with each of us in an unstructured schedule, but many a good woman before me had struggled with the green monster. If I was honest with myself, there was a part of me that worried that Carlisle would be so enamored with Bella's youthful beauty, fertility, and novelty that he would unwittingly favor her bed over mine. And I was used to having my husband beside me every night. This first week apart from him was going to be difficult enough without anticipating doing it every other week for the foreseeable future.

"I think that's a great idea, Bella. Let's see how that works and we can always reevaluate if we need to."

She nodded, looking relieved that we'd finished that particular conversation, so I denied my urge to tell her that I'd even be willing to give up one or two of my nights while she was ovulating whenever necessary. I didn't want her to think that her ability to bring us children was the only reason I was happy to welcome her into our family, though undoubtedly it was a big part of what was allowing me to muster the grace to face this challenge without resentment or regret.

Or at least without _much_ resentment or regret.

**_~esme~esme~esme~_**

After we finished, I headed upstairs for an afternoon nap. I was so tired.

I doubted I would get much more sleep tonight. 

**A/N: Carlisle POV is up next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is part 2 of a 3 part fic. This chapter is from Carlisle's POV. Bella will finish us up next week.

Remember that this religion is made up, though loosely based on fundamentalist Mormonism.

It is labeled angst for a reason, FYI.

**_~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~_**

My breath left me in satisfied pants as I slowly slipped from Esme's body. She moaned slightly at the loss, as she always did, and snuggled more deeply into my chest.

I couldn't imagine a more enjoyable way to start my day and I felt blessed to be able to hold my wife of 21 years in my arms as the sun rose higher in the sky. Today I had a rare holiday off from the hospital and I planned to enjoy every second with my family, celebrating the joys and bounties God had provided for us. I had some good news to share and I was most looking forward to seeing my beautiful wives' faces when I told them.

My life finally felt like it was settling again, and what had come from a year of grief and strife after the unexpected loss of our only son was turning out to be strangely wonderful. Of course given the choice, my son would be here with us today and Bella would be sitting by his side around our large dining table, but this alternative life I'd found myself living was a blessing of its own. I'd come to care so deeply for my new wife that the thought of not having her, even so that she could be with my son, was painful. And because that line of thought was destined to have me feeling guilty and torn, as it had so often in the past, I pushed it away before it ruined the sense of peace I was feeling.

"We should get up and get ready. I have a lot of work to get done before the rest of the family arrives," Esme said before giving my chest a kiss and starting to pull away. I caught her arm and pulled her back to me for a proper kiss and when I was finished, she was a little breathless. I chuckled and gave her an affectionate pat on the backside before reluctantly shuffling out of bed to face the day.

_**~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~**_

After a shower, I made my way downstairs with a mental list of the tasks Esme needed me to complete. Entering the kitchen, I found Bella pulling a pan of muffins out of the oven. My stomach growled loudly at the delicious scent and Bella turned to me with a small smile turning up the corners of her mouth. My gaze caught on her lips and my attention turned from the food to the beauty of my young wife. Though my body was entirely sated, my mind flooded with tenderness and desire as I looked at Bella. Our union was still new, but I suspected that the fascination I had with her body and mind would never fade, just as it had never faded with Esme.

"It sounds like you've got a bear in your belly," Bella teased, and I winked and gave her a mock growl as I stalked toward her. Grabbing her hip, I pulled her into my arms and bent my head to give her plump lips the attention they deserved. Her body was stiff against mine for a moment, her natural reserve still prominent when we were in public spaces, but eventually she relaxed and returned my somewhat overly-enthusiastic good-morning kiss. I heard Esme enter the kitchen behind us and Bella pulled away. She was very careful around me when Esme was present, preferring not to touch me in ways that were more than strictly platonic. I understood, and appreciated the sentiment behind it, but it was inevitable that I would be affectionate with each of them around the other and they'd both have to get accustomed to it. It felt a little heartless to think, but it didn't come from a selfish place—it came from knowing that the sooner they realized I had enough love and attention for them both, the happier they would be.

And I wanted them both happy.

In the weeks since the wedding, I had thanked the Lord many times that He, in His infinite wisdom, had given men seemingly unlimited sexual desire. I knew that Esme was afraid that I would no longer find her attractive or desirable once I had Bella in my bed, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth. Though the passion I felt for my wives held a different flavor and intensity for each, I felt equally blessed to share their affections. My time with Esme was driven by our mutual history and knowledge of one another, full of love and warmth and confident, knowing touches. I loved making love to her lush, voluptuous body both for the tactile and visual pleasures but also for the depth of what I had always felt for her, a feeling that had impossibly intensified as I watched her struggle with and conquer her fears over welcoming Bella as a Sister Wife.

With Bella, everything was new, a discovery, and the intensity of the lust that I felt for her was sometimes difficult for me to accept. Her innocence beckoned to me and every moment I spent learning her and teaching her me was a moment spent in paradise. After the first three weeks I'd felt consumed by this lust, I'd sought counsel with an Elder, worried that I was contaminating the purity of my marriage with unholy, disrespectful feelings for Bella. The Elder, the same one I'd approached when first considering a courtship with Bella, reassured me that what I was feeling for her was normal, particularly given our difference in age and the fact that she was only my second wife. He explained that it was our Father's way of urging men to continue in the Covenant, even after they'd found happiness with a single wife. I left that day feeling much better about the steps I'd taken in the past year to put my family right with God.

Still, I wasn't completely settled. The guilt was still there, on the periphery, and sometimes when I looked at Bella with desire I remembered my son, who had loved her and planned to wed her before his death. I wondered if he would feel betrayed by my actions, or if he understood how much his love for Bella had sparked and fanned my own, making me see something new in a girl who I had only thought of as a friend to my daughter for so long. But I battled it back, knowing that I was doing the right thing by God and, consequently, the right thing for all of us.

It was only just that I be asked to fall in love with and care for the girl who was to be Edward's wife after he had been taken so unexpectedly from us all.

Fitting, that this girl would be the one to save my soul so that one day I might see my son again.

_**~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~**_

As I settled into my morning ritual of breakfast and paper, I listened to Esme and Bella converse about the day. Esme sounded somewhat anxious, as she always was when we entertained, but Bella's calm assurances that they had plenty of time to get everything done made Esme relax a little. That, in turn, made me smile, and I looked up, making sure that my gaze connected with Bella so that she could see my pleasure with her.

In truth, it was the first weeks and months after Edward's death that I'd begun to see Bella with non-fatherly eyes. Though her grief had been as consuming as ours, she'd held herself together and done everything she could to take care of Esme and I when Esme couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. She'd spent hours sitting in the wing chair in the bedroom I shared with Esme, offering my mourning wife her simple, quiet comfort. Bella had seemed to work through her grief by spending the days at our home, sitting with Esme and taking care of the work around the house that Esme normally performed.

I found her actions admirable, her very presence a balm. And suddenly she wasn't relegated to the descriptive boxes she'd been in before. She was Bella, mine and ours, and I was falling in love.

Now she worked that same magic on Esme, and I thanked the Father that He'd allowed us to find this happiness in the wake of great tragedy.

_**~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~**_

The rest of the morning found me rearranging furniture and setting up some extra tables and chairs in our backyard to accommodate the number of guests. We were hosting a simple family affair, but one of the blessings of our way of life was the sheer size of our families, so "simple" was a relative term. Between Bella's immediate family, Esme's immediate family, and our own addition of Alice, Jasper, and baby Maria, there would be nearly 40 adults and children coming together to celebrate the holiday.

Our guests began arriving mid-afternoon, and the women bustled around arranging the meal, catching up, and chasing children. I led the men to the backyard where the older men engaged in a competitive game of Bocce while the younger men, including Bella's younger brother Seth, her brother-in-law Jacob, and Esme's nephews Peter and Garrett played with a football instead. When the first round of Bocce concluded with Charlie and Billy the winners, we withdrew to sit in the shade and watch the young guys as they got rowdier and more competitive.

"Wish I was still young enough to run around in the heat like that. A couple of years ago, we could have shown them a thing or two, huh Charlie?"

Charlie laughed, and shook his head at his father-in-law and best friend. "Neither of us have ever been much for football. Fishing's more our speed, old man."

Billy scoffed. "Old man. You're the same age as me."

As Eleazar and I chuckled at the banter, Billy turned to me and pointed.

"Don't know what you're laughing at, Carlisle. You aren't that much younger."

"Hey, now, no need to bring me into it," I laughed. "I still know a move or two." In fact, I was only a couple of years younger than the other men, with the exception of Eleazar. But I lived a healthy lifestyle, as we all did, and topped it off with regular exercise. Though I was closer in age to Charlie than to Seth, I could still throw a football with the younger man.

My first-wife's father chose that moment to weigh in.

"I would hope so, what with that young wife of yours."

I shook my head at Eleazar, embarrassed. Though our religion taught us that relations between older husbands and younger wives were a holy blessing, it was still uncomfortable to talk about such relations in front of the wife's father. And I had both of mine sitting here.

Charlie must have agreed with me, because he groaned in protest. "I may fully approve of Carlisle as my daughter's husband, but there are some things a father just doesn't need to hear."

Billy laughed. "Payback isn't fun, is it? Talk to me again when Bella's belly is swollen with a grandchild and then you'll see just how much worse things can get. I've been waiting for this moment ever since Rachel turned up pregnant 2 months after your wedding."

I tried to keep my amused smile from my face, remembering how disgruntled Billy had looked in the men's worship service after Charlie had proudly announced he'd fathered a child on his best friend's daughter.

Now it was time for Charlie to look down. "Fair enough, Billy," he began, before looking over to meet my gaze. "But just to be clear, I pray to the good Father every day to bless my daughter's new marriage with many children."

Billy and Eleazar answered with murmured _hallelujahs_, and I nodded at Charlie in thanks. I prayed for the same thing, not only for Bella and me, but for Esme as well. I looked across the yard to where Esme was playing with our granddaughter and I was so happy to see the sight of my wife, joyful and laughing as she played peek-a-boo with Maria. I knew that the promise of children in our home again was one of the primary comforts Esme took in the wake of the change in our marriage and I couldn't wait to give them to her.

And though I certainly wasn't going to speak of it in front of Charlie, I was very much enjoying the process in the meantime.

_**~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~**_

The long tables filled with family as we settled in for our meal, the cacophony of voices rising in a way that was music to my ears. When the last person took a seat, however, the noise naturally began to die down until I was able to easily be heard as I invited everyone to join me in prayer.

I grabbed Esme's hand on one side, and Bella's hand on the other, and when all of the tables were similarly joined in a circle, I led the prayer. I thanked the Heavenly Father for the blessings of the food, of family, of freedom and liberty, and for a small town that tolerated our presence with relative ease. I squeezed my wives' hands as I asked Him to share our love and thoughts with those that had already passed on to the Eternal Plane.

A quiet _Amen_ rang out as I concluded, but just as the level of noise was beginning to rise again, I called back out to the gathered crowd.

"If you can wait just one more moment, I have an announcement to make."

Everyone went quiet and I looked down to see Esme and Bella's faces awash with confusion and curiosity.

I was suddenly overcome with a great rush of emotion, and I had to swallow a few times to force it back. As I looked at my extended family, so healthy and prosperous, I knew that God showed us tremendous favor in spite of my many years of refusing the Covenant. Now we were right with Him and I would do anything to stay that way for the sake of my family.

"I want to thank everyone for coming to our home and spending the 4th together, as a family. It brings me a great amount of joy to see each of you here and know that you're all a part of my life. You all know that in the years I've been a physician, I've asked my family to sacrifice so that I could serve the community as an emergency and trauma doctor. My job has brought me great personal fulfillment and I like to think that Our Father has smiled on my service even as He has given me the skills and wisdom to do what I do. But I feel Him calling me in a slightly different direction. Just this week, the hospital finally hired two more doctors, one of whom will be stationed in the ER, and I've decided to take this opportunity to move into private family practice so that I can have more time with my own family—Esme, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Maria, and any new children we may be blessed with."

I heard Esme gasp beside me, and Alice squeal in excitement. My gathered family laughed at the reaction, and then joined together to praise God and call out congratulations. In the next instant, Esme was up out of her chair and in my arms.

"Oh Carlisle, this is fantastic news," she murmured in my ear as I hugged her, and then released her to hug Alice. I looked down at Bella to gauge her reaction. She had stayed seated, and when my eyes found her she was looking down into her plate. I started to worry about her reaction, but she finally glanced up and gifted me with a smile. I wasn't sure exactly what to think, having expected her reaction to be more in line with that of Esme's, but I decided to let it go. Bella was a different woman than Esme, and I told myself that it was a combination of her shyness and the gathered crowd that kept her reaction so subdued. She was a reserved woman, naturally quiet.

Surely this made her as happy as it made me.

_**~carlisle~carlisle~carlisle~**_

As soon as the sky darkened, we settled out in the lawn for the fireworks show. Garret had spent some time as an explosives technician in the military, and he renewed his pyrotechnic license just in time for the holiday. We'd invited our entire church to the show and our huge lawn was dotted with dozens of families. It was a luxury to be able to have a big show here, and not have to travel to the park with the rest of Forks. As tolerant as the citizens were, we tried not to test that tolerance by being obvious about our polygamy. Here, we were able to sit, each man surrounded by his entire family, and enjoy the night without any judgment.

I sat on a blanket, feeling completely content. Jasper was helping Garret with the fireworks so it was just Esme, Alice, and baby Maria on one side of me and Bella on the other. About half-way through the show, Maria began crying inconsolably, so Esme and Alice excused themselves to go inside to feed and then put Maria to sleep. I watched Esme walk away, cooing at Maria, and suddenly had the urge to hurry up and give her a baby to help raise in our own home.

Impulsively, I grabbed Bella by the hips and pulled her into my lap before wrapping my arms around her. She gasped, startled with the action, and I felt her start to pull away.

"Don't go, sweetheart. I want you to stay right here."

She paused for a moment, then relaxed back against my chest with a soft "okay"_._

She felt amazing in my lap, her tight bottom snuggled all the way back into my hips and her dark fall of hair brushing my face, carrying her scent. I took advantage of the darkness, nuzzling my nose into her neck for a moment before brushing my lips against the juncture of her throat and shoulders. She shivered against me and I could feel goose bumps pop up on her forearms. My own body reacted as well, and I could feel myself stirring, hardening against her bottom.

The sudden shoot and pop of a firework made us both jump, and I shifted Bella forward a bit as the colors lit the sky, giving us less privacy and making any continued activity inappropriate. This time when Bella tried to pull away, I let her, but I was gratified to feel her settle in close to my side and lean her head on my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her hip and couldn't resist giving her one more public kiss, this time chaste and on her forehead.

Still, my body continued to simmer with desire for her and couldn't stop anticipating joining Bella in our bed tonight. That thought led me to another, and I leaned in once more to murmur quietly in her ear.

"We'll be able to take a real honeymoon trip now that I won't be on call at the hospital, sweetheart. I can't wait to have you all to myself for an entire long weekend." She'd be lucky if I let her out of bed. I found myself suddenly set on the idea of getting her pregnant. I thanked God once again for having plenty of stamina, despite my age.

Bella looked up at me. "Where will we go?"

I smiled, squeezing her hip. "I thought somewhere on the California coast would be nice. Maybe San Francisco."

"Anywhere is fine. Whatever you want, Carlisle."

I brushed my lips across her hair and sighed in contentment as the sky lit up in another brilliant display of light.

What a wonderful day. What a wondrous life.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** The final part of The Covenant, from Bella's POV. Hopefully this will answer some questions a few of you had about Bella.

_**~bella~bella~bella~**_

Evenings at the Cullen house were my favorite.

I grew up in a house filled with noise; fourteen people in one house would do that. I'd spent the majority of my years sharing a room with my older sister Leah, and after she got married, my younger sister Emily. In my entire life I'd barely had a moment to myself outside of the bathroom, so the quiet solitude of the Cullen house was nirvana.

Most nights I spent an hour or so in the family room, reading or watching television with Carlisle and Esme before escaping up to my sitting room on the third floor. There, I'd curl up on Edward's old and comfortable leather sofa and read until it was time to go to bed, basking in the quiet and imagining that I could still smell him in the worn black smoothness that supported me. During the renovations, Esme had tried to convince me to completely redecorate the masculine space that had been Edward's into a more feminine space of my own, but I'd refused, only relenting to get a new bed set.

It seemed beyond perverse to have sex in Edward's bed with his father, so I made that one small concession. Otherwise, I wanted to be surrounded by him, by his things, by his memory. I kept as much of his as possible, including his books and his music, only letting things go when my insistence on keeping them might seem strange or worrisome.

I didn't want to hurt Esme or Carlisle. They were so good to me, and they always had been. So I pretended to be okay. And because I had somehow become the glue that had let both of them hold everything together through Edward's death, they let me pretend and didn't see the signs of my unraveling.

I was hanging onto this life by a string.

_**~bella~bella~bella~**_

Tonight I settled into my favorite chair in the family room and opened up one of my textbooks, intending to review some material for my next class. Carlisle was watching some History Channel program on low sound, and the murmur of the television combined with the clicking of Esme's knitting needles provided just the right amount of background noise.

Everything about this was familiar. For the past ten years of my life I'd been spending as many evenings as possible here, first with Alice and then later with Edward. They were in the grade ahead of me at school, but because of our church affiliation, most of the kids at school avoided us. We stuck together, and Alice and I had forged a strong friendship in spite of the slight age difference. I couldn't count the number of times I'd sat in this very room, doing homework. This house had been an oasis to me, even before Edward and I had fallen in love, and I'd always longed to live here in the peaceful, loving quiet.

I'd always wanted to be a Cullen. And now I was, in everything but name. Once upon a time, I would have gotten the name, but second wives stayed legal spinsters forever and I would forever be a Swan.

I made it through the chapter I was reviewing relatively quickly, and set my book aside before rising to get a glass of water.

"I'm going to get something to drink. Can I get either of you anything?"

Carlisle looked up at me and shook his head with a soft smile. Esme set down her needles and stood up.

"I think I'll come with and make myself a hot cocoa," she said, and though I was more than willing to make it for her, I'd learned fairly quickly that when Esme wanted to do something, she did it.

We made our way into the kitchen in companionable silence. I quickly got a glass and filled it with water as Esme put on some milk to heat. I was just getting ready to retreat to my room for the night, intent on enjoying some time on Edward's couch, when Esme spoke.

"So Bella, how are your studies going? Are you doing well in your classes?"

I took a sip from my glass and nodded, though the truth was that the very thought of my studies made me feel even emptier than I usually did. I was a straight A student in school, and before all of my dreams in life had died with Edward, I'd planned to go to nursing school to get my RN degree. It was a plan we'd made together, Edward in medical school and me in nursing school, probably in Seattle so we could have some freedom but still be close to our families.

When Edward died the summer before he left for college, so did my chance of going away and pursuing a degree. The only way my father would have allowed it was if I'd gone as Edward's wife, at his behest. I was lucky that Carlisle allowed me to take classes at the community college in Port Angeles, and of course the closest thing they had to nursing was a MA certificate that wouldn't take me even a year to complete.

I'd probably never even get to use it.

"Good. That's so good. It will be comforting to have someone with some training in the house. With Carlisle gone during the day, I always worried that one of the little ones would need him in an emergency. It will be so nice for you to always know you can do at least the basics should your babies need it." Esme's voice was full of light and hope, just as it was every time she mentioned children, which was more and more often these days. As the past five months of my marriage to Carlisle had passed by without the hoped-for pregnancy, Esme had become more and more vocal about her desire for children.

I didn't look up at her until I was sure my face was neutral.

"Yes, that will be a comfort."

I loved Esme and I wanted to make her happy. I knew what she wanted, what I had signed on for when I assented to my father accepting Carlisle's proposal. But I wasn't ready.

I was just barely twenty years old.

_**~bella~bella~bella~**_

After I went to the bathroom, I returned to the family room to grab my books and say goodnight. I was tired all of a sudden and all I wanted was to go up to my room and fall asleep listening to some of Edward's music. When I got there, though, Esme was gone and Carlisle gestured for me to join him on the couch.

"Come watch a movie with me, sweetheart," he called, his voice warm and inviting.

"Where's Esme?"

"She was tired and went ahead to bed," he explained with a little shrug, then patted the seat next to him.

I frowned, but left my book where it was and sat next to Carlisle. His arm went around me and settled me firmly into his side before he started the movie, but I couldn't concentrate. Tonight was supposed to be Esme's night and I had been looking forward to the solitude. Sometimes it felt like the only thing that held me together was my time wrapped up in memories of Edward and I'd been too busy to sink into them the past few nights. Not only that, I felt guilty, like I was monopolizing Carlisle's time. I knew from living in a house with three mothers that any perception of inequity could cause tension and resentment and the last thing I wanted was for Esme to resent me.

Anymore than she already must, that is.

Eventually, Carlisle must have noticed my tension because he began running his hands up and down my arms in a soothing motion. The slow slide felt good and I started to relax a little, sighing as I felt some of the stress leave me in the wake of his touch. After a few minutes, he stopped and shifted away from me. I looked over to find him settling at an angle into the corner of the couch. He spread his thighs and patted the cushion in front of him.

"You're so tense. Come here and let me help."

I smiled and scooted over until I was cradled between his legs. His large, warm hands immediately hit my shoulders and I hummed in appreciation at the gentle kneading of his fingers. Carlisle made a living with his hands, and it was abundantly obvious how skilled they were in many different situations. He could play my body with ease, and I appreciated his attention now as I completely relaxed.

"What has you so wound up? If you're having problems with your class work, I'm happy to work with you on it," Carlisle offered in a soft, soothing voice.

I shook my head. "Thank you but I'm fine. I think. . . it was just a long day. I guess I'm just a little tired." I heard him hmmm in response as his hands continued to work their magic. When his fingers slid up my neck and onto my scalp, it felt amazing, and I let out a little moan of pleasure.

Carlisle's breathing deepened and I felt him begin to harden against my backside. He shifted forward, into me, his chest meeting my back and his lips finding my exposed neck. He kissed the sensitive nape before opening his mouth and sucking gently on the skin. I felt myself flush with sudden heat and another whimper forced itself out of my throat, this time of a different kind of pleasure.

"I love that sound," Carlisle murmured softly into my ear. His hands left my hair to wrap around my waist and he pulled me more firmly into the cradle of his lap. There was no mistaking his arousal.

I wasn't sure how something that had started so innocently had ended up here so quickly. Carlisle had never blurred the lines between my nights and Esme's nights before, and the guilt that I had let him ease away with his hands began to niggle away at me again. Yet when he gently urged me to turn around with his hands, I didn't protest, just shifted around until I was facing him.

_Never say no to your husband when it's within your power to say yes_, Sue had counseled me before I was wed, even though it went against everything my mother had been trying to secretly teach me about being assertive. I'd already gone against Renee's wishes by agreeing to this marriage, and it seemed silly to protest now. In for a penny, in for a pound.

It wasn't my place to say no to my husband, and if I was honest with myself, a big part of me really didn't want to. I was used to feeling guilty every time I enjoyed Carlisle's touch and betraying Esme was no worse than betraying Edward.

Carlisle helped me adjust until I was straddling his lap, my knees on either side of his thighs. I leaned forward to meet his lips as one of his hands came around to span across my lower back, helping to support me. Our kisses started out light, his mouth meeting mine in a series of searing but close-mouthed brushes of lip against lip. But soon he was angling my head with his free hand, fingers tightening slightly in my hair as his mouth slanted more possessively against mine. I opened up to his insistent tongue and felt him invade my mouth. His kisses were deep, passionate, drugging, almost overwhelming in their intensity. I felt myself begin to respond _everywhere_.

That in itself was a little surprising. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy my intimate time with Carlisle, I did, but it usually took some work and a little synthetic lubricant to get me completely ready for him. Carlisle took it in stride, had even commented in his doctor voice once when I'd been embarrassed that it was normal and that lots of women needed extra help with lubrication. I'd never tell him that I hadn't always been this way.

I'd always been embarrassingly wet for Edward. Right here on this couch, in fact, where we would make-out whenever we caught a spare second of alone time.

The throbbing ache built as Carlisle's kisses continued, his hand moving from the small of my back down until he was cupping my rear over my skirt. I felt my body moving of its own accord, my hips opening further to let my knees spread and my body sink down to rest my full weight in his lap. The movement pushed my skirt, which started below the knees, to high up on my thighs and Carlisle's eyes darted down, his throat rumbling a quiet groan. His hand on my backside tightened and he rocked me forward, sliding my panty-covered vagina over his hardness. Once again, I was surprised by the slickness of the movement and I moaned as pleasure spiked through me.

"Shhh," Carlisle pleaded in a whisper before once again covering my mouth with his as he continued to slide me slowly, back and forth over his erection. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, letting my fingers play in the thick hair at the nape. He hummed softly into my mouth, before pulling away and breathing heavily in my ear for several long moments. Then, as though he'd made some decision, he quickly leaned back far enough to create distance between our chests. His hands hit the hem of my sweater and then he tugged it off over my head before dropping it lightly to the floor. His fingers hit my newly-naked collarbone and they skimmed across, his light touch reawakening the goose bumps on my arms as he hooked his index fingers under each strap of my tank. He tugged down until the straps were at my elbows, lightly binding my arms, and my breasts were exposed.

Carlisle stared at me for a second, his eyes hot and hungry as he took in my pushed-up breasts, my tight nipples. I resisted the urge to cover myself, an urge that was still there after all of these months. My breasts were barely a handful, small enough that I usually went with a tank instead of a bra, and I couldn't help but feel inadequate compared to Esme. At forty-two, she was still a goddess among women as far as I was concerned, her body round in all of the places every developing teenage girl wants to be round. My body had stalled out long before that point, leaving me leaner than I would have preferred. It was hard for me to understand how Carlisle could be attracted to me when he had her, but even I had to admit that his fascination with my breasts was undeniable. He loved to look at them, touch them, love them with his mouth and his fingers. Even in the times he took me from behind, he paid special attention to my breasts as if just the feel of them turned him on.

Now he looked his fill before leaning forward and capturing one tight bud in his mouth, tonguing it gently until it was even fuller of my pounding blood. I buried my face in the crown of his head and closed my eyes, trying not to make the sounds that wanted to erupt from my throat as his mouth worked from tip to tip, and back again. I could feel the length of him seated at my center, hot and hard and pushing upwards with the smallest involuntary movements of his hips. I wanted to thread my fingers in his hair again, but my arms were trapped close to my sides between the straps of my tank and the grip of his fingers so I stayed as still as possible while Carlisle took pleasure from my body, and gave it in return.

My mind drifted. I forgot about Esme, about the way that Carlisle was basically cheating on her to be with me, like this, on her night. I mostly forgot about Edward, though I briefly wondered if my body's easy response had something to do with sensory memory of his caresses and kisses on this couch. I let myself go for these few brief moments and tried not to think or feel anything except my most basic reactions. It was a sweet escape.

It was Carlisle's voice that broke me out of my semi-trance, a guttural whisper as he took my hands and wrapped them around his penis.

"I need you, Bella," he said, as he guided me to stroke him. I hadn't even noticed him undoing his khaki pants and pushing them down just enough to free his erection. It stood hard and tall between us.

The positioning was awkward, but I did my best to please my husband, touching him in the ways he'd shown me he liked best. His skin was smooth and hot under my palms, my thumbs, and I stroked him at a firm steady pace while his breath caught in jagged pants. Then his hands were pushing up under my skirt, gripping my thighs before his long fingers slipped under the front of my panties. I winced as he got caught in my pubic hair, and he quickly murmured an apology before sliding his fingers down to touch my center. They slipped easily through the gathered moisture and this time Carlisle ignored his own urgings to be quiet and moaned loudly.

Before I knew what was happening, Carlisle had my panties pushed to the side and his big hand pulling me up and over his hardness. He gently knocked my hands aside to grip and position himself at my entrance and then he was thrusting into me.

His mouth captured mine as we traded quiet, ragged sounds. His hands were heavy and purposeful on my waist as he guided my movements, working himself in more deeply with each rolling rock of our hips.

"Baby. . . so good," Carlisle whisper-groaned, his breath hot and humid on my ear. I murmured an incoherent noise in agreement, basking in his term of endearment. Carlisle rarely called me baby, only when he was inside me really, and I liked it.

Edward had called me baby, too.

It must have been good, because it didn't take Carlisle long to finish. His thrusts got hard and fast and his fingers against my center moved quickly in his attempts to bring me with him. Usually, Carlisle was a patient lover, but I enjoyed this new experience, in all that it was wild and forbidden. I could feel my body spiraling out of control as Carlisle gripped my backside hard and slammed into me one last time. He buried his face in my neck as he orgasmed and all of the feelings combined to send me over the edge. I finished as quietly as possible, biting my lip to keep in even the smallest of noises that might finally betray our activity.

The aftermath was silent save our heavy breaths. Carlisle's face stayed in my neck even as he slid from my body and let my panties fall back into place. I knew I was a mess and that it would only get worse the longer I stayed this way, so I squirmed away to pull my tank top back up and scoot off of Carlisle's lap. He let me go and quietly righted his own clothing.

The guilt I had managed to push away was back, as was the bone-deep ache of exhaustion.

"We shouldn't have. . ." I began, then caught myself before I criticized Carlisle outright. "This was Esme's night."

"Esme is my concern, not yours," he replied, somewhat more sternly than normal, but then his voice softened. "And I can promise you that she wouldn't mind if it means you might conceive. I've noticed how regular your cycles are. You should be close to ovulation now, right?"

I swallowed, and nodded.

I _should_ be close to ovulation now.

_**~bella~bella~bella~**_

My shower was hot and it turned my skin pink. I barely noticed the heat beyond the effect it had in soothing my body. I was numb, shut down, depleted without the time I had promised myself on Edward's couch.

My actions were thoughtless and robotic. I washed my body, my face, my hair. I picked up my razor and ran it over the necessary places.

Shut off water. Step on bathmat. Dry body. Wrap hair.

My feet moved me toward the vanity, and I opened the bottom drawer where I kept my tampons and pads. I carefully shook out a few tampons until I could stick my hand inside and rummage at the bottom. My fingers touched what I was looking for and I pulled the blister pack out, pushed my thumb against a small blue pill until it popped out the foil at the back. I placed the birth control pill in my mouth and swallowed it dry.

This was the last month I had. I'd need to speak with my mother about filling another prescription. It was probably safe enough for me to get it myself in Port Angeles, but I was afraid Carlisle would somehow find out. I promised myself I wouldn't do it for much longer. I figured I had a few months left before Carlisle would make me go get fertility tests.

I stood in my bathroom and stared at my reflection. I didn't know who this girl was. And maybe that was because she wasn't a girl anymore, but a woman, a woman with a husband and a Sister Wife and a life devoid of anything but God and babies and service to her family.

It wasn't a horrible life. Someday, when this still-aching loss wasn't so fresh, I knew I could find contentment. But never joy, because the bottom line was, I was living a lie.

I didn't believe in The Covenant. I never had.

And I didn't believe in a God that could take Edward Cullen from this world and leave me here to exist without him. Because _I guess_ that's what I did.

I existed.

_**~bella~bella~bella~**_

The house was blissfully silent as I slid between my sheets, alone in my bed in a room that used to be Edward's.

I enjoy the silence while it lasts.

-the end

_A/N: So, definitely an angst rating for this one. My hope is that I was able to show that these three are pretty deeply damaged, but trying to get whatever happiness they can out of their lives. While there are parts that probably should be pretty creepy, there was no outright villain in this little ficlet in my mind and hopefully in yours too. I thought about adding a Renee POV, and maybe a pre-death Edward POV to give some more perspective, but I'm not making any promises as this feels "done" to me. I really hope you enjoyed it in some way._


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